Back to Blighty

A spot of rain on the way to the UK

Having my head stuck in the clouds, I often find that my idea of something is nothing like what it really is. Take the idea of fish and chips: I think of big crisp chips splashed with malt vinegar, light crisp batter, chunks of delicious white fish, and a crunchy gherkin or two. What do you get in reality? A yellow soggy mess. Same with my idea of England: I think of cosy fires in pubs selling delicious beer, hearty simple meals, rolling green country, little winding rivers, etc, etc. Drove back to the UK last week, and was suprised at just how crowded it is, and how unlike my idea of it it really is - there were cars bumper to bumper from the Eurostar terminal to Lewes, solid. Compared with France it was like a termite mound. Also, all the houses are squeezed together right next to huge open spaces, roads are everywhere, and people look so unhealthy. The food is cheap and looks it, shops are everywhere selling nothing of quality, adverts shout at you from every available space, noise everywhere. Serves me right for going into Brighton!

Anyway, we saw our friends, had the British Food Trinity (fish & chips, sunday roast, curry), drank a lot of beer -which was a bit sugary to be honest- and looked in shops which didn't sell what I wanted. We then loaded up the removal lorry, and set off to the Tunnel because the thought of an overnight ferry journey in force 11 gales didn't appeal. Got to Mesle the next day, unloaded everything into the gite (except Pachypodium which went somewhere warmer), and came back to Bubry.

Three days of cleaning and sorting the house out here, then we're in. Two beams to replace in the gite, gas pipes to replace in the house, bit of a clean, unpack, and get on with it.

Reflections on the last few months

Three weeks left until the place is ours (as long as all goes according to plan). Here are my thoughts on moving to France:

1. If you want to live in France, then just go and live in France. You could spend years taking wee holidays and you still won't know what it's like to live there. Sell up, go over, and rent. Then settle in and take your time.

2. Forget agencies - they want your money. Go straight to a notaire and save yourself 7% of the asking price.

3. Never accept the asking price - offer a third less and negotiate. Prices are made up, and there's no rule as to what a place is worth.

4. Remember that a building can be altered but an aspect and location cannot. Better something needing work in perfect surroundings than a dream house near a proposed dechetterie.

5. Found a place you like? Take a good look around the place before committing -Google Earth's good to see what's around about- there could be a dirt bike track through those lovely trees at the bottom of the garden.

6. Land rented out to a farmer? You might as well not own the land: unless the farmer breaks the tenancy agreement you can't evict him/her, and some tenancies are generations old.

7. Local farmers get first dibs on land for sale over a hectare, which can delay the sale for months. This is why there're lots of farmhouses for sale with no land: the big boys and girls have nabbed it all.

8. Most stuff is nearly a third cheaper in the UK, and there's more choice. Ship it over.

9. Employ local tradesmen and talk to your neighbours who hold the keys to a lot of stuff you'd never know about - like the local farmer's distillery for example! Hic.

10. Old house? Keep off the modern building materials as they're designed to keep damp out, whereas old buildings are designed move damp out. Mix the two and you have condensation, damp and rot. Use matching natural materials and ventilate. Better for you and the planet.