A tenner well spent.

Rescue one rusty, dirty ol' saw from a brocante.  Clean off the rust with wet & dry, sand the handle clean and smooth and coat liberally with linseed oil.  Next day, wipe excess oil off hand, sharpen and set teeth with a pair of pliers and a file.

Then do the equivalent of 100 one-arm pressups and slice your log up.  This keeps you warm and gives you a perfect excuse to eat two lunches at once.

Take your surprisingly heavy slices and split 'em up.  Take the time to see where the grain runs to avoid hammering the axe down and getting nowhere and nothing but injury.  Should take little effort (kind of): like everything else done properly with hand tools, keep them super-sharp and use the tool's weight as the driving force.  Also, swing it well and the log just pops open (kind of) to reveal wonderfully-smelling beautiful wood.  Kind of.

Job done!  Off to eat a lot of food.